The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
