I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
