the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize