I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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