Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
