Cold hands, warm shart.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
