oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
