When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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