BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
