Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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