Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize