I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
