so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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