After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
