I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
