I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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