yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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