Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
