oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
