she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize