He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
