you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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