He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
