why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
is that a dick in a sweater?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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