Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
