i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
