If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
