i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
