I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
