A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize