so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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