so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
