so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Randomize