you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
