No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
