This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he fucked my hip out of place.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
