the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
