I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to jail i love you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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