sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Houston, we have a blender
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
