Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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