She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
