So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
