I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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