his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
