i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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