I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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