I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
