Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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