well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The power of my boobs compel you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
