doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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