margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
