When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
