Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
