so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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