so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
