just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
