it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
