hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
