Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
