Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
