see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
