Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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