I smell stomach acid.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
