sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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